Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: Hi I'm looking to come to your church tomorrow morning but I cant seem to find what time your services are? If you could email me with those I would really appreciate it!
Thanks so much

A: Well, I am so glad to get a question here. Haven't seen one in so long. What time is our Service? That is a good one. Several times recently I have been asked this. Sure some might think a bit shallow. But not I. Clearly the heart of this question is: "When do we serve?" The answer is not simple. As Christians we seem to go through growth stages. Some are more inclined to service then others. When first saved, we are excited to preach the gospel. Later, we tend to get more introspective and self-involved. However, later still, we come through with a great appreciation for the younger believers around us and that could be our most service minded age. If you ask me.

10 AM



Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: Why can't it be like the old days, I wouldn't mind seeing a few smites every now and then?

A: Sure everyone wants to see smitings when your feeling good about yourself. But how about when you are the possible object of smitification? Don1t we like to think everyone is worse than us and they deserve smotedom. No, not me, I am really good guy. Except when I do bad things which is just a fluke. A consistently reoccurring fluke. Believe me, mercy is way better than smotelation.

Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: I am a 20-something male who enjoys puking on my job sites to see my co-workers expressions. What can I do to stop this or better yet should I? I mean on the plus side it helps me keep my girlish figure.

A: You are sick!. Your girlish figure is not girlish. Maybe Mary-Kate-girlish, back when she was puking for recreation. Eat food not just sunflower seeds you weirdo. I am sick of working with you.

Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: Here's a fun one. I have heard numerous things on missing books from the bible. Not just the popular ones that you hear about on TV like the Apocrypha [sic] and Enoch. I1ve heard that there were many more. I have also heard that they were removed in something like the 1600's and even before that. My question is, how much of this is true?

  A: Well this is a fun one. And by "fun" I mean difficult. See, the thing is, sure there were other writings that circulated in Christian or pseudo-Christian circles. But there are no books missing from the Bible. The Bible is the accepted collection of recognized inspired writings. Now there was a bit of a process. The Church existed to almost four hundred years without an official New Testament canon (canon being the universal unchangeable list). But, things weren1t as out of hand as some would lead you to think. The gospels were first recognized by the church in general. Even the heretics wanted to keep the gospels. Without them there was no faith at all. And they were known to have been written by an Apostle or by a close associate (Mark, companion of Peter: Luke, companion of Paul). These were copied and circulated widely. Letters and writings of the Apostles were first distributed locally and then they also were copied and circulated. In the writings of the early church leaders of second and third centuries, there are volumes of quotes and illusions from almost every chapter of your New Testament. Read in context, you can see the high esteem in which these words were held. Church life was firmly founded on them. When official lists of what would make up the New Testament start appearing in the latter half of the three hundreds they are not really long with lots of other books on them. Most are shorter than what we have. The church was careful not to assume every spiritual writing was Divinely inspired. Some were just inspirational; others did not agree with the apostles well known teachings. Some were just hard to understand (like Revelation), some were just not as widely known, but the church would come to recognize the seal of approval provided by the work of the Holy Spirit on the books we now read as the New Testament.

This is the thing though, I don1t want anyone wondering about whether your being left out of something. So, dig those writings up if you are interested and check them out. Read the New Testament and then read them. Tell me the results.

Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: I am currently an elite mercenary and International Bone-Crushing Champion but I am unhappy. Will a career as a Cat-Dancing instructor make me happy?

A: "Happy"???

Who can say what will make a person happy? If you find killing for money and Bone-Crushing for sport unfulfilling then maybe Cat-Dancing is what you need. Having met a plethora of Cat-Dancers, I know that many of them come from similar backgrounds: Cage-Fighters, Mob-Enforcers, Nudists... Alright, not so much the last one as the first two. But, many of them have a lot in common with your current lifestyle. And they seem more than happy. No, way past happy. Leaning hard on the creepy/disturbing kinda happy/giddy, Mr. Rogers all smoked-up kinda thing.

Anyway I guess it's worth a try. Tell me how it goes.


  Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: Would you ever consider a handlebar mustache?

A: Well, yes and definitely no. I have considered it. But due to facial insufficiencies (namely a lack of chin) it just will not do. I have maintained some type of facial hair for all my adult life with virtually no exceptions. I have gone many different routes with it, but I have got to keep something on my (non)chin to keep it hidden. Since a handle bar mustache on top of chin hair is just a goatee there isn1t any point. The Handle loses it grip. It1s like sideburns with chin hair. It's just a beard.

I hope you are not disappointed.


Pastor Matt,

Q: Scripture says "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds" (James 1:2). First and foremostly, how do I get my myself around that? I would like to feel joy at being tested and tried but mostly it makes me feel tired. Secondarily, what is joy?

A: Well, I see what you are saying, "Trial = Joy!" is tough to get a handle on. But, the thought does not stop with the numbers. James 1:3 says, "because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." So the equation would be: Trial + Faith = Perseverance = Joy. That makes more sense.

If we go through trials without faith, there is no joy. If we go through with Faith, then our faith grows from "good-times-faith" (which is easy to have) to "Persevering-steadfast-good-times-bad-times-faith." Faith that stands when your leaders fall, that stands when promises are long unfulfilled, that stands when you are all alone, that stands and the world sees it and knows its real. Knowing that your trial is developing that kind of faith can produce Joy.

Joy and tired are not mutually exclusive. Tired can be Physical or Emotional or Spiritual. But under these circumstances it is easy to be Physically or Emotionally Tired while being Inwardly Joyful. Joy, in this context is not of the flesh or mind it is Spiritual. Joy isn't laughing out loud or giggles. It is a quiet, powerful satisfaction. When one watches their child excel or graduate or listens to their loved one vocalize their love. You probably wouldn't laugh. More likely, you would silently appreciate the moment with great satisfaction that you can't explain. Joy beyond comprehension. We can have this inside, even while our outside is wasting away.


Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: In the Old Testament there's lots of rules about eating stuff and I, being a person that enjoys eating stuff on occasion was wondering what are these rules and how did they come about? Mmmmmm stuff.....

Dear Stuff eater,

A: I also like to eat stuff. Mostly meat stuff. I don1t eat too much green stuff. I think they have feelings, but they are hiding them. Stuff-n-nutter sandwiches, those are good.

Some of the OT laws are just good sense that ancient people haven't figured out yet. In the dietary laws God steered them away from foods with common problems and toward safer foods. Take chicken and pork, even today you have to be careful how you cook them because of parasites or stuff that makes you sick to your stomach. Imagine back in the day when they didn't know about such things and having an upset stomach outbreak, while living in tents in the desert. Not cool.

Others laws had symbolic meaning. But lots of people interpret them differently. You1ll have to dig into that yourself or at a Bible study with some friends. Tell me what you come up with.

In the end though, the New Testament declares that we are free from these regulations. Read Galatians for some of that action.


Dear Pastor Matt,

A: How do we know God's calling on our lives?

Q: It is necessary that we be listening to God to hear the call. Not just listening for the call but listening for God. That is, if we don1t listen when he asks us to do the small stuff, like pray for our friends, speak out with encouragement or scripture or praise at church, stand up and raise our hands, etc... if we are not hearing and responding when He tells us what to do with the next couple minutes, then what is the point in Him telling us what we should do with the rest of our lives?

If we are listening and obeying, then you should do as best you can to follow the day to day directions the Holy Spirit gives you. You can be confident that you will end up in the right place if you are obeying day after day. For decisions that arise and you hope God to speak to you in a great big megaphone voice. You may be disapointed. I find that God leads by the peace He has placed in my heart. I know when I am in His will because I have His peace. Learn to discern His peace and it will guide you well. As you meditate on a decision one way will be peace and the will be disquiet.

Do not rely on outward "signs." The people of God do not have to rely on coincidence, or "I was thinking about selling cars and there was a car ad when I opened the paper!" That kinda stuff means nothing. Don1t waste your time thinking about such things.

If you make a mistake and find that you are in the wrong place, don1t beat yourself up. God is forgiving and can get you back on board in no time.


Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: Why are you so cool?

A: Well, I would love to take credit for my being so cool. But unfortunately I am not personally responsible. It is all in my genes. I can be no cooler nor less cooler than I am. I am simply a product of genes. Not that I have had my personal genes mapped. But I have heard about it and it is now my excuse.... answer for every thing I do and say. Truth is I didn't realize my inherent coolness early on in my youth. I thought I was like all the other guys. Latter, after some experimental encounters with cool stuff, I discovered my inner coolness. People are sometimes offended by my coolness. But they have no right to make any moral judgments about my coolness. I have no way of resisting it, even if it were wrong, since it is hardwired into my genes and I am sure that if I were subjected to scientific study that they could back me up on that.

So I am this cool because I am and I can1t be otherwise.


Dear Pastor Matt,

Q: If you were in Miss Congeniality 2, what part would you like to play?

A: I can1t believe anyone would even ask this question. You people are messed up. Who would even watch such a train wreck of a movie.
I would definitely be the kidnapper guy, the semi-smart one. Who decides to hold the Pageant chick and the Captain Kirk guy for ransom and then suddenly decides to give up on that idea and tries to kill them both in a pirate ship.